DEATH TO MIND, DEATH TO FIND

18 February 2024

Undone (Literally and Figuratively)

five years, 

five to die,

come back live.

the creases still jut to the barren abyss,

once tormented, 

    dark, 

        bewildered, 

              unknowing

sunk past seemingly tangible moraines,

folds keeping what nothingness in,

now gripping tethered to some quiet foe.

the way is one every man goes


"what now of your nothingness?", hinged upon plights;

might one possibly squirm at the foot of some Might?

some Might so entangled in unknowing, 

that, 

it's might erodes consciousness?

Sedimentary Sleep to the living, 

may be forged, let us to the fire, 

what's hiding there underneath,

surely's thought to conspire.

if at all to be learned, then to rot our graves turned...


09 March 2016

Ways To Float

Feel one way and then another
Toward what
I turn when they're away
Along the seas encroaching borders, long
Awake, I tread.
How can I not remember that which
Haunts this trampled trail?
The tracks iced over decades still reveal a shape familiar
Blind to weigh Each grain by blood, tulips
Tempt both ends.
                  Calm the shore, its
Cries ignored, forever lead my
Oars, its force the only guide.
On Death's boat I ride.

07 December 2014

Humble Dumpster

Humble dumpster, remind me
of how shitty it used to be.
Lurkin' through the alley alone.

The white weeds tumble,
the grey bleeds sky.
I don't know why, I don't know.

Graves have shut eyes, and you too.
Violets red and roses blue,
They rarely hit my funny bone.

Road ends nowhere,
brown thrashers fly,
Chasing dead signs. Chasing dead.

17 November 2014

wherever

the mind is clouded and the grackle cries shrill,
ice ghosts skate the road beneath our metal and our fears;
when moonlight drops low to snuff our shadow,
may we bask in the dark of the unknown space we infest.

20 October 2014

WAITING FOR THE TUNNEL / PAIN AND PLEASURE

Another light to burn the nerves that keep me from sight.
Another light to burn the nerves that drive this breath and bite.
The smoke, it sees too easy; Hell, we're friends on account I'm blind.
This file's pulled a quick one over my head, now it's grindin' my frown just the same,
As I ride on down the line.

The tracks don't play as smooth as they once did,
guess we've shared all this wear and tear.
They widen and curve with the tension of freight,
Persuaded by sorry repair.

Another light to burn and sway this wiling wild in me free.
Too many times a cayote's wandered the plains til at sea they came to be.
If it ain't rattler's who'll get him first then the lonesome will fill his boots.
The cayote's heart will soon forget, as his instinct turns 'im mean.

Get me down the line, I say, this wait ain't just spent time.
Time is a notion of order, confounded with the weather, the news, and the dime.
It's oftentimes peculiar, this, a riddle laid upon rhyme.
Reliance must be placed with allies to see it walk by and by.

Know this train here we ride, from the ticket to the tunnel, has got a name nobody ain't heard.
With Pleasure he drives every soul, cheat or lie, down to the tunnel at some far mountain's side.
By him we abide and slap on thicker hides as the mountain air creeps closer in;
For he doesn't deny his effect on our lives. Ain't one don't sting when it bites.

A wisdom rough weighs burden enough to earn itself due understanding,
And to the tunnel I ride with no doubt at my side, only one match in the book 'til,  empty.
Another light to burn the nerves of all you who once might have loved me;
And If'n you did I sure reckon you lived, with least happiness as well misery.

My Pleasure has but known a one single friend; An outcast of misunderstanding.
And as you're aware, later by compare, one friend holds the whip while the other's stand bare.
Do not shy from the friend less striking, but instead, garner heart-ward what this friend Pain may unleash.
If a fire's to burn deep inside, swallow tears and let flames die, til just ashes and smoke smolder twixt the charred pieces.

Pleasure travels steady, and paced quick as a hum'bird, unfettered ingress shall you ever impart him.
Yet in turn, what of his friend's approach, if not so contrary?
Never shall you wish to warrant the one, Pain, any but arduous ingress;
For into one's heart and mind he corrals nascent thoughts, intentions of pain they cannot yet foresee.

Reason begs of you, purge this Pain, but now, I plead, hear my refrain:
The grit to what your heart is stuck stands three times stronger than Pain moves tough.
Wallow not in reluctance, become a friend to Pain, it is not his intention to harm your entire claim,  but reversely to harden, to sharpen, and to tame that which hides in the depths far below your intellect, wit and brains.

These tracks we ride on, they stretch mighty long, and they pay no mind you, weak or strong.
Now as I have been witness by means of adventure, may this discourse impart some repose;
There are cattle to spear and sheep to shear, and steins of course, for drinking beer!
Mind of Pain and of Pleasure, never worry if you fall to slide.
Lastly, do not trust in the heat of the sun for daytime's remedy, for the mischievous serpent lies low,  and slyly, his bite'll sink deep and Hell's sting and its pains will scream to a different tune than of your own.

A favor, may I now ask of thee?
Tunnel, Next Stop; Sure it's gonnna be my last. I've smoked every rolled one, and so lit every match.
In this place ain't nothin quite as sterling in ways to pass the time, easy as rollin more tobaccy, and firin up another light.










06 September 2013

AND AGAIN, TO THE ICE IT SHATTERS

In an icy depth between Sky and Death
I crept in search and often times, I met what I had begun to forget.
The Misery casts its shadow long to reach the far ends,
like a Song to stay to Histories long forgot.
Crows, black as Storms of the Reaper,
RETURN!
As the itch to the sting, Cursed are the Crows that fly my path,
For they stay too long!
With a devious wrath must I try to reject them,
But the Cold of my inside, far warmer than this place, is nothing too cold
For a bird of Illusions such as this.
I must fall in your trap cunning winged thing,
For Adventure my feet step to question and walk to the trap of reflective wings.
To sling up my heart, might it fall to the Ice to Shatter; that I should breathe.

29 April 2013

Forsaken I am, and I at the Last: a Friend from One of The Unknowns


A Call To The Bothered: Unlock Thy Grasp!  

"Now into safe keeping may the following ye accept...none but of your choosing, or none to take at all! 
Of this: Those who are Forsaken, give good listen! Of certain impending prying counsel, Do Not Abide!

"Of my intention, I cannot display that which you are presently expecting to claim, save only what dire speech imparts from this withering forked tongue. 
However unclear, I shout! As the flood rushes, so must the Vessel atop it, and so perilously forward each advances to Dooms set before them.

"You, of your onliest, All ways Oppose agitations of the Strange!
Nefarious Disrupters, as Naked appear to the straining eye, do closely watch, for furtively along on silent step they lurk.
May only Pestering Winds be thy Comrade, and as much The Wiser,
Beguile you they shall Never in all these coming days of multiplying defiance...
For a Gale of even the heaviest force bears no burdens of the wicked kinds!

"None but ye of Mortal Kind, solely Man doth possess the Lie.
The Lie is all you wish not keep, yet be all what Plagues your Deepest Hidden Deep.
Most enemies speak in lies; Alas the Lie it grows within your marrow and veins, an Adversary of thine own self you are, My My! That is a disease, I say, most unkind. Lo, Regression breaks, as you stand awaiting my concealed language, unsure as any would be of this quick and disconcerting calamity.
    
"So Into Ruin You have been sewn, stinking ligatures bind blood to bone;
Sacred your crux, doth it bear the stuff to break and shatter thy foremost trial, 
Obstinate as the darkened side of the mirror, Cousin to Failure, the One they call Doubt?
On your strength, but not alone, depends your Recompense; Will It, this Doubt, ever weigh heavy upon thee,
or should it dissolve into the Dark, its miserable, subtle sanctuary?
      
"All else surely will descend with you! So Swear Ye Dare Not to Waste away in Bitter Exile.
Doubt's advance shall not here quicken, for shield and crux are one and same,
Man's core it's Grit, it scorches hot and blue, yea the Blaze of Wrath rages deeper too as thine heart's blood speeds to thicken."

The Forsaken Man at once, as Heart and Mind begin to swell against one another, bellows wildly,

"Monster Of my Blood, Let it Be Seen Now That I have The Heart to Bestow upon you what you once hath Thrown Down upon my innocence!!!  Come Now, Be Ye Frightful of Thine attire of Human Flesh from the pits I have lived in Too Many nights, cold, Killing Putrid Infested Creatures to Survive, Abandoned to the Dogs to live as no Human should Live? While, You, in your bedchamber with woodburning stove and a Woman to keep you satisfied.

"It is I, The Forsaken One, Younger and More Full of Venom and Spite than any Man Ever to Be before! I will wait until You have gained the Courage to receive the Blow that will send You to a World of Nothingness, where the Ouroboros will have destroyed all except you, so When you finally fall to that Last Sorry Pile of the Universe that is waiting for you to Suffer Alongside, All there will be is You, Torn and Broken, Tears Streaming Down a Miserable Face, for No One. All is Lost!  Victory For The Forsaken!  All will be Forsaken as No One Man Deserves Free Choice. Man will have NOTHING!!!! 

"Weep, for you will be Alone, Forsaken, as I all my life before This Sweet Hour of Vengeance.  Forsaker!!! Lament For it is Soon Your End.  Come, Come, Feel the heat of my Brow from your place on your knees at my Feet!  Taste the Sour Sweat of Indifference that drips upon your Collapsing Shape. 

"Let there be no more of your Wicked Ways, For I Will Have Vengeance, and My Wrath shall be KNOWN.  You cannot outsmart me for I am gilded in ways unbeknownst to you.  For I, the Forsaken Man, have been Granted by the Winds of Wise, an Ouroboros of The One True Power, Creation's Destruction!  Beg for your release at my Feet and Forsake me No More, For I Turn the Tide of Cold Blood, and Now it is You Who Is Cut by the Blade of Misfortune to your Demise."

"Aaauurruuggghhhahauu! Show Yourself, I do not Doubt Myself, You are not afforded any Weapon except that of Innocence, as I once had, Before You Stripped Me of Life as It Was Before. May You Be Defeated In a Way You Would Hope Against." 

Bewildered, Lost, and Red with the Fiery Fever of Totality, The Forsaken Man Calls out to the elusive Ouroboros, 

"Witchery-donning Knight Absurd, fastly to The Unknowns, bound by ancient mysteries unique, unchallenged, unheard:
What say ye is thy Thick Intention, For Some odd Prize you've slipped to mention?
There goes no treasure toward ridding but One Man of his Demons,
As once they've withdrawn, the Man sheds a tear, for He knows such an enemy as the Cruel Monster Doubt retreats in Strategy, wily and guileful, an opponent Austere."

Guile and Wile, both habitual traits that Mortal Man doth easily carry! Now, Forsaken Mortal, I am present to oblige you with few words for contemplation, reflection...
To excite this Confrontation I hither spill rivers of wetness upon the battle plain from this fork-tongued mouth of Destruction.
As on an axis the spinning sphere was set in motion by its own maker, so must you follow as he, and doth Betray your Forsaker; 
Take into motion yourself as you were once put into motion, to be abandoned into a life of Struggle.

May We Meet the Terminal Truth, Rest ever hard by the cold shade of Denial.
From One of The Unknowns I travel, in and out from Space to Light,
And here I must halt! For The Forsaken's torture may grant my release,
And from One of The Unknowns I turn, as Ouroboros we make one with entirety, and as I must devour all, Your Adversary the Deceiver, all of the spinning sphere we reside upon, and as for you...You must sacrifice yourself knowing of your Vengeance as the reason for this Ultimate Sacrifice.  You are the Destructor of this Universe if you so choose. If you do not choose, I will make the final decision, for once I begin I cannot retreat from The End and The New Beginning. For those are propelled by forces unknown to me.  Let us die for nothing, and everything also. 

And Behold,The Forsaker, who cowered in the Darkness hitherto appears, only to be cut down almost effortlessly by his own blood by A Blade forged just for this purpose, exactly long enough ago to have been honed to the utmost unequalled fineness of edge on the blade. The Forsaken Man gave no free moment for his most hated target, as soon as his cloak appeared in the corner of The Forsaken's eye, the Blade already penetrated through the very center of the top of the skull, and his strength catapulted to such marvelous proportions, that the blade sliced all the way down, straight through the skull and the middle of the terrified wet face, down through the rib cage, slicing his manhood as the blade continued down.  The Forsaken, in his moment of triumph and ecstasy, began to channel all of the energy of the entire spinning sphere, from his skull through his hands, and down through the hilt of this Final Weapon, and he, in the remarkable displays of passion Any of All had Ever witnessed, reared back with the blade in both strong, Glowing hands, and as if everything that The Forsaken had ever experienced had disappeared in that End, his being went Berserk, chopping the bloody mess that was his Deceiver, into pieces so mangled and oddly shapen, Ouroboros even turned away in desperation, because the Pestering Winds of Devastation were so strong they would have taken out his eyes, and blown parts of The Forsaker into his orifices too soon.   As a steak knife would cut through a softened ripe pear, the blade ripped and sliced and snagged on the torn fleshy mound of what had been the reason for the Execution of What Had Been, to make room for What Would Be, if a future may exist at all...For none left were the least wise to the coming of the End.  And as soon as the cries no longer escaped The Forsaker's lips, the entirety of the spinning Spherical Primeval Skeleton and its accompanying Constitution was eaten in a furious implosion of Light and  Darkness, all swirling in from the contours of The Ouroboros' serpent corpus, as it dove in on itself, to devour all that ever was to be The Final Nothing, Before The New Nothing  The satisfaction of the Forsaken Man in the Insanity of his maniacal face being showered in the Sweetest Blood of Vengeance, was not seen by any thing, not even by The Ouroboros. And So, The Forsaken Man Was Swept away in the Terrible Delight that was his Final Stand against all that was natural in his sphere, for he was not the only Forsaken one, No there were many like him, who all were revered in those singular moments each one by one in a succession of hot white flashes of steaming ice shards sharp as the Blade of Reckoning, as the Mighty Serpent Obliterated All There Ever Was, and... Nothing.


30 October 2012

THE TRAILS OF MIRRORS, DISTORTED AND HIDING FROM THE SUN

BURIED DEEP - THE FLESH SET FREE
BLOOD BE DRUNK - BY THOSE STILL LIVING

BRAIN SILENCED - NERVES UNGLUED
TRAP BE SEALED - ALL NOTHING ENTOMBED

ROTTING CORPSE, LONE TO LAST BLACKNESS
WINDS OF SORCERY, ACCEPT! AS CURRENT TO STONE
EMPTY MUTANT, NOT DEFIANCE NOR YIELDING CAN LEAD YOU.
DEATH'S CRIES AWAKEN THIS SAVAGE METAMORPHOSIS UNKNOWN.

MAGICKS BLACK: SCREAM TOWARD DEATH'S LATEST WORK.
MAGICKS BLACK: FOLLOW SHADOW'S PATH AS BURNED.

SORCERY SHARP: FLY FAST! TO SEW THE SCREAMS TO DIRT.
SORCERY EVIL: BRING MIND AND PAIN! FIND WHAT DEATH DESERTS.

TELL ME WHAT THE BODY BURIED.

AS CORPSE MEETS DEATH, SO MUST SHADOW MEET CORPSE.
THE TRAPPED DEAD REFLECT WITH DARKNESS AND SHADOW;
THAT WHICH REFLECTS BACK TO THE LIGHT OF MORTALITY,
BY THE SHADOWS, IS WHERE DEAD WALK AND LIVING REMEMBER.

MORTAL + DEAD
DARKNESS + SHADOWS
TAKE ME AWAY

24 October 2012

BANE

BLOOD RED
CAN'T RECALL
LAST TIME THAT I SAW YOU.
IN MY HEAD
YOU'VE BEEN DEAD
LONGER THAN YOU OUGHT TO.
BLOOD RED
TIME IS TALL
DAYS TURN RIGHT TO WORRY.
ALWAYS DUMB
STEEPENED SLUMP
CLEAN BUT FEELING DIRTY.
CHANGE ENOUGH
MY ROTTEN LUCK
THIRD BLOOD'S WILD ENOUGH.
STEADY RED
CRAWL AHEAD
AND SPARE ME DAYS TOO ROUGH.
BLOOD RED
I CAN'T SEE
WHAT'S WRITTEN IN THE VEIN.
FUTURES TELL
OF UNCHANGED SPELLS
OUR DEVIL'S SWEET REFRAIN.
BLOOD RED
ALIGN TO ME
OUR FRUITS FARE WELL AS BANDED.
WOMAN'S BANE!
IN REASON MAY I FALL-
AND BLOOD RUN OR DEATH BRAND IT!
KILL THE BABY!
KILL THE KID!
KILL THE WAY I ALWAYS DID!

15 October 2012

query beside disquietude

when i die do they forget? or is it i who forgets?
as oblivion holds the galaxies, the bog messes my footing.
through the muck of fantastical marshes i tramp
to lose that for which i anxiously tarry
as if i've already been in the ground myself, only i have forgotten.
but is this me remembering? i grasped before, a future..
axioms bygone, obscurities far-off
the sleepless slumber and the road i neither disregarded nor recognized,
i knew of it somehow; how did i know of it?
does not this crux fade? only its grip tightens as weariness grows?
does this imagination vanish? am i forgetting?
all punished hearts, by their own mechanical beating, i remembered...
to dream what i dreamt, i remember...
do these dreams weigh themselves heavily,
despite the ego which by doom eludes me?

03 August 2012

CURS-ED BOY

OH BLOOD BRINGER,
 WHERE IS THY BLADE, 
 MIGHT IT DIG DEEPER?

VENGEFUL REMORSE!
 THE GRAVEYARD YOU PAVE
 AWAKENS THE SLEEPER,

AND BOLD CREATURE,
 DARKNESS THY TRADE,
 THE CRYPT BE YOUR KEEPER!

FANCY YOUR TORMENT SHOULD BECKON MINE OWN
ENEMY, STRIKE! NO BLOOD POURS FROM STONE!
ROTTEN ONE, SHALL WE BE BURIED ALONE?
SO OUT OF THE FILTH NO LIGHT SHALL BE GROWN?

11 February 2012

SELFISH

ah-licks-tater pornshow

07 February 2012

BEYOND THE PALE DAWN RUSHES THE MACHINE 
TO DELINEATE THE HUMAN FROM ITS BOREDOM
AS IF IT WAS AN NECESSARY ELEMENT OF ITS EXISTENCE


YET BOREDOM GROWS FROM THE VERY ESSENCE OF THE MACHINE


PERPETUATING TIDE OF HUNGER! WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH HIM?
BUT RUIN HIM!

30 January 2012

GREAT...NOT...

A STANDING ROT HAS NOT YET CAUGHT A THOUGHT WHICH FLOATS ABOUT DISTRAUT

ONE QUIETUDE SOUGHT HAS TAUGHT NONE BUT THAT WHICH IS WROUGHT WITH SOME DUMB ANGUISH BROUGHT BY THAT WHICH ONE MOST TRIES TO SHUN.

DISTANCE BOUGHT BY SILENT DEATHS MAY SEE SOME TEMPORARY SANITY


BUT ALAS THE SUN IS FOUGHT BY ITS STRONGER ENEMY...AND DARKNESS DOTH PREVAIL

23 January 2012

a bridge appears and i walk beneath

i am all and i am nothing

 castle of mirror

for dylan klebold and eric harris and their wrath

19 January 2012

open thought to pry the minds of ancient rhymes and melody...as if some-one did care

WHEN I DREAM I DREAM REALITY
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN STOLEN TO IMAGINATION?
ATTENTION! BREATHE AWAY FROM ME 
I NEED NONE OF YOUR VANITY
DISGUSTING IS YOUR FLASHY GRIP
WHEN SOFTNESS PULLS I OFTEN STRIP AWAY FROM YOU
TO HAVE SOME SOLITUDE FROM YOU
FOR LONGING GLANCES 'CROSS THE ROOM, THEIR EMPTINESS FILLS ME FULL OF GLOOM...A LIVING LOVER'S TOMB
CONCEALED IN SINCERE DOOM
FOR MAN KNOW'S NOT HIS MOON
BUT JUST HIS SHADOW

08 December 2011

05 December 2011

 sometimes in my eye there comes clear to my underglasses an intuitive itch but i usually dont let that fool me
for with what i see is that of loss of memory, on an empty plain the wind it whistles, but does not blow.
perhaps i hear as they see

11 November 2011

04 October 2011

BEA STS GHO STS

CALCULATED DOOM
BROUGHT FORTH BY THE WOMB OF UGLY ROTTEN MAN.
      MACHINE OF TORTURE
THERE WILL BE NOTHING LEFT SPARED
BUT YOUR BLOOD ON THE LAND
BETWEEN THE CRAKKZ
OF HELL AND EARTH
THE FIREWORMS ARE STIRRING
QUAKES BREATHE STEAM OF A THOUSAND DRAGONS WHILST MAN BREATHES A BILLION SCREAMS
AND THE BEA STS GHO STS ROOOOAAAM
MURDEROUS SPECTRES!

26 September 2011

TASTE


new patterning concept


la vida no vale nada

colored texture

new crypt and laser beem

22 August 2011

11 August 2011

10 August 2011

one knows not to cook the beast until its dead

09 August 2011

RAINWRAITH

RAINSTORMS AND HIPPIE METALS
LET THE LIGHTNING STRIKE
FOR i THE SPIKE-CLAD
MISERY MAIDEN SHALL
FREQUENT COMB THE NIGHT
INVISIBLE! DEADLY! TRICKSTER!

PELTED FLESH FEELS NO PAIN!

WIZARDS AWAKEN FREE AGAIN
THIRD EPOCH OF IT'S KIND
EMBRACE A FIGURE
KNOW IT'S PLIGHT AND
BLOODY GIVE IT NIGHT
CRUEL! MISERABLE! WONDER!

03 August 2011

rings and slings
ordinary     things

forever keeper
lest ye be a sleeper walking the Rope of Foretold Peril

06 June 2011

looky looky i can see you all

United States
485
Russia
40
Germany
13
Poland
13
Netherlands
12
South Korea
10
Brazil
9
Argentina
2
Canada
2
Spain

05 June 2011

the most sense ive ever made

DO NOT CONSUME ONLY CREATE
DO YOU REALLY KNOW ONE THING FROM ANOTHER
VALUE STANDS AS ITS OWN OPPOSITE
WHAT IS A LANGUAGE IF IT IS TO BE CHEATED MEANING
VALUE CHEATS VALUE
HUMAN CHEATS HUMAN
TIS TO BE ALIVE

22 May 2011

hotel water closet

overactive analysis is breakfast made for brilliant men, those whose actions oft offend, ones whose pupils dilate bend the scope of death and life pretend.

11 May 2011

old draws

a brief look into my BIGGIE notepad, for the bored
free jamie marie

skippy as a woman pulling the cloud curtain down

poop clouds

ross' backyard

merbrutacorn

colloaboration b/w skippy and i

birdie

me in des catacombs, paris

skippy as billy joe from green day

falling bodies manifesto

conceiving of ways to get rid of a body requires inventiveness
 
which is why i have yet to develop this book any further

lair lord

beavis' and butthead's moms
old rhyme :

on obstinate oils of truth i float
dying leaf, a boat steers corrected
off the shore of instability
coaxed to and from the same direction
this broken compass our gifted selection
cloaks our single comfort posession
still no direction

06 May 2011

23 April 2011

finalized drawings from this week

light

dark

purpled and complete